While I had decided last week--before I'd heard of any of this--to write about the challenges Ingrid has caused in my life, I meant the name Ingrid, so this hurricane situation certainly serves as a timely reminder to keep things in perspective.
For as long as I can remember, I've been explaining my name. It's Ingra, I-N-G-R-A. When meeting new people, I've learned to say "Hi I'm EEN-gruh" as articulately as I possibly can...but every so often, I get a response back like "Nice to meet you, Ingrid".
I've also been called Inger, Inga, Iiga, Ingram, Ing-a-ling, Inga-binga, Inkala-vincala, Inra, Ingrown, Gruh, Graskioli, Ingrabinski, Gigi, Heidi or anything remotely Swedish...you name it! While some were silly goofy names (I called Tony--who called me "Ingrown"--"Toenail", for example), many were honest blunders from folks with strong paradigms I was often challenged to shift. I had an English teacher in junior high, for example, who called me "Ingrid" the entire year! You can only correct a teacher so much before it affects your grade, so I gave up after two or three tries...yeah, that many--I guess I really wanted her to succeed! ;oD
NOTE: If you're familiar with the StrengthsFinder themes of talent, my number one is communication--which means you'll eventually know what I'm thinking, whether I want you to or not (a blessing and a curse)!
I was born Ingra Claire Winkler, created by my folks' lovingly clever idea of combining the middle names of my maternal grandmother Helen Ingra and my paternal grandmother Hazel Claire. I've always thought this was a sweet and beautiful combining of my folks' families, and have truly appreciated this christening all my life. Thank you Larry and Claudia!
Since a middle name is not often shared in introductions, I noticed early on I had to be extra careful saying "Ingra Winkler" because folks weren't always sure a) whether it was one or two names, b) where one name ended and the next name began and c) I wasn't speaking a whole different language for a second as they would often have me repeat it slowly or even spell it!
When I married Bret Anderson, I had already worked several jobs in media positions and wanted to keep "Winkler" in the mix, so I became Ingra Winkler Anderson, with no hyphen. This allows me to include or drop "Winkler" as I like in verbal introductions. On paper, I usually try to include all three names whenever I can. I've also been able to keep intact the names of my special project businesses which use Winkler in some way (i.e. iWiNK Productions, iWiNK Randoms, etc.). The choice to use my maiden name as essentially a middle name has worked out beautifully and I would highly recommend such a solution!
So far, there's nobody else on the planet named Ingra Winkler Anderson, but there is actually a woman right here in Omaha named Engra Andersen, spelled with "e's", and our names sound exactly the same...tell me that isn't God's fun sense of humor! She and I have bumped into each other a couple times over the past 20+ years, and cheerfully joke we hope the other is keeping our reputation(s) up!
The challenges I've experienced in this area have made me extra cautious about others' names as well, and I really try to get them right. If I'm unsure, I try not to use their name verbally and--if in written form--I will double-check spellings whenever I can.
This does not mean I've always gotten them right. My worst offense was when I was calling names at a university commencement ceremony. In my defense, I had to read 100's of names off cards being handed to me by each graduating senior as they approached the stage, so there wasn't any prep time for tricky pronunciations. However, I think this was a pretty simple name, but whatever came out of my mouth was nowhere close to what was on the card. I just remember her hollering back "that's not my name" and--while I restated the correct name without missing a beat--I felt AWFUL! It was one of the most important days of her life and I blew it. My sincere apologies if she ever reads this.
Names really are important to people and worth the extra effort to get them right. If you have uncertainties at times, it's best not to use names in those instances. As someone who has a lot of experience on the receiving end, I'd say it's worse to say it wrong than not to say it at all. Try some creative workarounds...maybe that's how "hey dude" got started!
Today's Quote:
"I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names."
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
No comments:
Post a Comment