Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart

It may be due to my being between jobs...the holiday season...too many friends' Heavenly ascents this past year...taking more steps toward settling my grandmother's estate, etc., but I've been especially emotional this season--not like my usual logic-based optimistic upbeat self. I have intended to write a message of thanksgiving ever since--well--Thanksgiving, but illness, job searching, holiday events and general busyness have kept me otherwise occupied. 

Thanks Don Moen!

Today, however, I've had Don Moen's Give Thanks lyrics running through my head, and that's usually how God talks to me--through music--so...I think it's time for a blog! If you don't know the song, it's really lovely, and we sing it on occasion at West Hills Church, as other congregations might. There are several YouTube videos made with it, such as this one: tinyurl.com/lypmvmq. As in most praise songs (which I've always assumed are designed in a repetitious fashion to allow your heart and mind to receive God's messages), the lyrics are simple:

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks to the Holy One

Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son (repeat)

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"

Let the poor say, "I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us" (repeat)

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks to the Holy One

Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son (repeat)

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"

Let the poor say, "I am rich

Because of what the Lord has done for us" (repeat)

Give thanks

Give Thanks Especially in Challenging Times

As I pray you feel is true for you, I have many things for which to be thankful this season, and those times when life's especially challenging are often the perfect times to remind ourselves of all life's blessings. 

I mentioned West Hills Church and I feel moved to share a practice this church has, the power of which I never fully appreciated until I was a recipient. We have what is called a pager ministry. A pager is given to a different person each week, and the pager holder's name as well as suggestions for what congregants could pray for them is published in the weekly bulletin. The general practice is: once you've prayed for the pager holder, you call the number, dial in a code and hang up. The pager holder receives a buzz and knows someone has just prayed for them.

Craving a Different Kind of Buzz

I found out it was suggested I carry a pager by a family friend and work associate of my husband's, Chris Moats, and I am forever grateful to her for this wonderful expression of love and support. The bulletin stated I'd be carrying the pager that week (October 20-26, 2013) and would appreciate prayers for my job search. My first day, Chris gave me the pager following the 11 AM service, and the pages soon followed. My husband Bret and I were both getting so excited by all the prayers people were sending, we both seemed to need to count the buzzes (if you're familiar with StrengthsFinder, we both have Achiever in our top five!): 272 between noon and 10 PM (when I turned it off for the night)--WOW! I was so tickled anyone would think of me. I'm so used to being independent and self reliant, I didn't know how much this would move me.

Feeling the Power of Prayer

The rest of the week, I was able to let go of the tabulating and really enjoy the fact I could literally feel prayers being said for me! It also served as a bit of a witness as I had it going off when I was in meetings and other gatherings with others, so I would explain what was going on and the idea was positively received, which was cool! It was truly a moving experience and I had a job possibility surface that week which I'm still pursuing...I'm anticipating what's next in my life with new ferver...God is good!

West Hills Church also gave us an exercise the Sunday before Thanksgiving of jotting down things for which we are thankful. Here's what came pouring out those couple of minutes (I could've written even more!):

Others Need to Hear it Too

I feel like I walk through life with a grateful heart...thanking God for every little thing..."thanks for the beautiful sunrise, God...thanks for the parking space, God......thanks for my husband's disarming sense of humor, God...thanks for such fun family members, God...thanks for the magical sunset, God"...but we can really never show enough gratitude to God and to those in our lives. Sometimes those we love need to hear it and be reminded--even if we think we show it in other ways.

Speaking of others, it's also fun to see and enjoy how God has blessed others around us...that is one positive thing I can see in regard to social media. We can give instant pats on the back when we see someone has shared something for which they are grateful. I have been pouring myself into several avenues of social media to learn all I can before the next job, and find I really enjoy Twitter! Who would've thought that one would end up a favorite, but the fact I can tweet to folks I admire and sometimes hear back is fascinating to me--AND great fun! If you Tweet, come visit me @iWiNKRandoms and tell me what you're thankful for this season. I can relish in your blessings just as easily as I can my own! 

I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year this holiday season!

Today's Quote:
"Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses."
-- Alphonse Karr 

"Getcher Giggle On"--Sending Best Wishes to Sweet Adelines International Competitors

This week marks the 67th Annual Sweet Adelines International (SAI) Convention and Competition, being held in beautiful Honolulu, Oahu, Hawaii beginning tomorrow, November 5th, and running through Saturday, November 9th, 2013.

A Cast of Thousands
Thousands of a cappella chorus and quartet competitors from across the globe are already in Hawaii today, rehearsing, making last minute tweaks to ensure peak performances and--of course--shopping at the Harmony Bazaar as soon as it opens! If you've never been, vendors from far and wide set up their elaborate booths, which together fill an entire convention space, selling all kinds of music, entertainment and glamour-related wares. It's like nothing you've ever seen and great fun to experience--even for the men who end up at these conventions, whether they're directors, husbands or other a cappella family members. Yes, I've dragged my husband Bret to one of these (in Las Vegas), and I've never even had the honor of competing on the International stage!

Attend if You Can, Watch if You Can't

Many Sweet Adelines attend these conventions on an annual basis--even if they're not competing themselves. We have a group of past and present members from our Acappella Omaha Chorus (AOC) who have been attending for many years, and I was in a quartet with two of them--current AOC Director Nancy Goldberg and AOC Manager Jackie Narduzzo--so I attended a few with them during the 8+ years we sang together. It was great fun and I hope to go back again sometime as there is just nothing like experiencing this competition LIVE ONSITE!

In the meantime however, I am delighted at the organization's forward-thinking leaders who several years ago began making it possible for the thousands of us at home to watch the competition by way of a live webcast--thank you--thank you--THANK YOU! By the way, I just looked and this link is currently showing videos, so those of us planning to watch online can test our connections and be ready for tomorrow's live competition performances.

Many of us take days off work to be able to watch these webcasts, but this year--at least in the United States (click here for a timezone converter)--we're several hours ahead of Hawaii and will be able to watch in the evenings. I'm hosting a webcast party Friday night, for the quartet finals--it should be great fun...Getcher Giggle on Gals!

Remembering Jo Kraut

Sweet Adelines members who have had the honor of being coached by the late Jo Kraut may recognize the "giggle" reference. Jo was all about smiling, twinkling, giggling--whatever it took to ensure a lifted open resonant sound. I have memories of her coaching Acappella Omaha and saying "giggle" just before we would start to sing. I'll never forget her own smiling-twinkling-giggling example...in fact, every time I think of her, she's smiling! She spent many years as director of the high-ranking Kansas City Chorus and was sought after as a coach by choruses all over the world. She is sorely missed, but I'm sure doing wonderful things for a giggling heavenly chorus somewhere beyond...

Vocal Production
It may be doubtful an actual competitor is reading this (as they're understandably very busy this week!), but when I think of where they might currently be focused, here are a few things they--and anyone who sings in a group--might do to give their best performance:
- Pant or beatbox on a "puh" several times to ensure the diaphragm is engaged properly.
- Create a ping in the sound (which leads to ringing chords) by having a focus in the mask area...bubbling a phrase, then singing a phrase is a good exercise for this.
- Keep moving the body to ensure a freer sound.
- Have a common vowel target for mouth shapes and ringing chords by thinking of a consonant at the end of the vowel. For example, if singing "Once Upon a Time", and holding the "ah" vowel on "time", think of the word "tot" (or something similar the whole group has agreed upon), until it's time to turn the diphthong to "ee" and finish the word.
- Listen and blend, listen and blend, listen and blend!  ;oD

Be My Tweep and I'll Be Yours!
Can you think of others? Please list them below--I love this stuff and might tweet it @AcappellaOmaha or @iWiNKRandoms with a shout out to you on Twitter.com! 

If you're still a Twitter-fearing Sweet, I encourage you to take the leap. It's my very favorite platform as you can follow all kinds of folks and learn TONS! You don't have to tweet yourself if you don't want to...you don't have to read everything from everyone you're following if you don't want to...but the microblogging option is so cool--nobody can have more than 140 characters, so messages are short and to the point. You'll be surprised at how many people-->peeps-->tweeps you can follow and keep up with! You'll find lots of good music advice and links to spectacular music videos, among whatever other interests you might pursue. I highly recommend it--and this is coming from a gal who a year ago could barely be found online (click here for that story)!

By the way, you can follow @AcappellaOmaha on Twitter to watch/hear a cappella videos from groups across the a cappella spectrum and let us know what other a cappella groups we should be following. @iWiNKRandoms is my personal page and more "random", but often musical as well--with a little broader range. 

BBShop Doesn't Have to Be Nerdy
Speaking of which, I'm putting my vote in now for some beatboxing in our Sweet future! We need to evolve and think outside the box (or in BBShop, the square!) to attract more young members who are our future, and we could really transform and bring this artform into the 21st Century with this simple inclusion. The way I see it, there could be a beatboxing team in a chorus, so the beat could be passed around and not tire out any one person. 

When I heard from one of our assistant directors and showmanship judge candidate--Annette Wallace--that SAI had brought in a cappella heavyweight Deke Sharon for something, I was very excited at what this might mean for our future as an organization--YAY US! I look forward to more information on this soon and am a willing learner if we get this ball rolling...maybe there will be a beatboxing track in future education symposiums...MAYBE we'll even see some beats already sprinkled into some competition performance packages yet this week...watch for it, I feel it coming! ;oD

Best wishes to all the competitors--your sisters in harmony are really looking forward to seeing you strut your stuff--"Hey sistas, go sistas, soul sistas, flow sistas"...but on the stage--not the street!  ;oD

Today's Quote: 
"Perform when you rehearse or you'll be rehearsing when you perform."   
-- Anonymous

Updates:
Congratulations to our new 2014 Sweet Adelines International Queens of Harmony: 
Love Notes Quartet..."You're a star"!

Congratulations to our new 2014 Sweet Adelines International First Place Chorus Champion: Rönninge Show Chorus..."You're a Winner"!

The Struggle of Keeping Everyone Happy

To think there is a way to keep everyone happy at all times--in any group where there is more than one person--is a delusion, plain and simple...but many of us strive for it every day. I highly respect these people. I sometimes try to emulate these people, but I am the first to admit I'm more naturally wired to shine light on challenges--in hopes of uncovering solutions--rather than pretend they don't exist. 

Let's Agree to Disagree Agreeably
Problem-solving seems to be a part of my nature, which must be why differing opinions don't devastate me. We certainly want to try to be as civil and kind as possible when we're expressing what may be an opposing view--and that's a challenge in itself--but to some people, any conflict is devastating. To me, it's a way to find out what's important to everyone involved in a particular project or situation, and to strive toward a solution to address as many of those values as possible. This can be a fun undertaking if we let it--I often find it fascinating how differently we all think--but so often, someone's feelings are hurt because someone else didn't appear to like their ideas, or worse, someone feels they are in a position to pull the weakest leader tactic: "It's my way or the highway!"

What's really happening is we can't all have our way all of the time, and since no two people will ever agree on everything, concessions need to be made--especially in a marriage or an equal partnership--like a he-gets-to-pick-the-movie-this-time-and-I-get-to-pick-it-next-time sort of thing. Managers can have big challenges in this area if they are perceived as unwilling to hear others' ideas. 

A Manager Does Not a Leader Make
My husband Bret has studied leadership for as long as I can remember. We've been married 24 years this month, and I can truly profess his number one pastime for many years has been reading books about leadership. He's been a school principal for more than 15 years and runs Wilson Focus School in Omaha, Nebraska, where the focus is 'leadership through technology and communication', so he does know a few things... ;oD 

One of the books Bret's currently reading is called The Championship Formula, by Jack Stark, and he was reading to me about Stark's findings that only the top one percent of all leaders are good, but--even worse than that--only the top one-tenth of one percent (one in a thousand) are great. How sad. 

I've been in several leadership positions in my life and have found the biggest challenge is to make everyone feel they've been heard and considered. This is a strong need in our human existence--to feel we matter and are needed. In subordinate roles, I personally have found, once I've shared my thoughts, ideas and suggestions on a particular situation, I'm okay if it still goes another direction--at least I've been allowed to share and I do appreciate that (score points for my supervisor). 

On the flip side, I get it when a leader doesn't necessarily have time to go through the buy-in process, but I always appreciate their sharing the logic in how they arrived at a decision on what direction to take. That to me is at least an attempt to recognize there could be better practices out there, but in the time allotted (and respecting the supervisor is the one who ultimately makes the call), this was the best direction uncovered with deadlines looming.

Praise the Good, Ignore the Bad
I first heard the idea of focusing on what you want and not focusing on what you don't want from one of my favorite bosses, but have since heard it in several circles of thought--including dog training! ;oD With my tendency to try to find solutions and fix things, I have to work on "ignoring" every day! Not everyone wants a solution or not everything is important enough to spend energy correcting, and those are the decisions we each must make daily. I see people (I call "me-times-10"), who are highly detailed to the point of focusing on things that really don't matter to anyone else. I've watched those people drive other people nuts, and it reminds me to be diligent about what I'm moved to address and what I need to let go. 

As far as how I deal with other people who may be challenging to me, I'm not a hater, I just put people in categories--it's been a healthy and quick way to move on and not stew about whatever words, tone, attitude or fill-in-the-blank I may have perceived, and just try to get to the meat of their message and address it where I can.

A Solution that Works
We all come from different backgrounds and have different expectations of ourselves. I, for example, was raised by educators, am married to an educator, have educator in-laws and educator friends, so I might value education more than the average Joe, and when tasked with writing or speaking, I probably have a higher expectation of myself in this area than others might. Whatever your interests, there is one tool the world of education has been focused on in recent years from which we could all benefit. It maximizes people's strengths rather than focuses on all the weaknesses they may think they need to work on: The Clifton StrengthsFinder.  

If you know about StrengthsFinder, you can appreciate the fact that if something is a strength, we can grow it to the top of the heap, but if something is a weakness--no matter how many hours a day we work on it--it can never be improved more than minimally. If you've taken the StrengthFinder survey, hopefully you've delved into it or been coached on it enough to see how truly beneficial it is for appreciating other people's views--no matter how different they may be from yours--and finding ways to maximize what everyone brings to the table. 

My top five themes of talent in the StrengthsFinder are communication, achiever, relator, maximizer and strategic. My strategic--the "what if" person--explains a lot about why I question things. I'm really not trying to be a Negative Nellie, I just want to have all ends covered. Strategic can be perceived as getting in the way of a "ready...fire...aim" activator, for example, so I would need to keep my "what ifs" in check a little more with a person with activator in their top five.

Cherish the Differences
If you haven't taken StrengthsFinder, it's well worth the time. In the case of the last person with whom I compared strengths, I knew exactly how we could help each other, and exactly what to curb or look out for (where we might drive each other coo-coo).  It's fun and helpful to know these things...cuz All God's Creatures Got a Place in the Choir!  ;oD To ostracize or campaign against anyone just because they don't agree with us is simply not okay. Let's make an effort to cherish our differences.

The next time someone's stepping on your last nerve, my suggestion is to stop and put them in a category--even if it's the category of "has a keen ability to push my buttons". Once they're in a category, you can make one decision to let them be who they are, and a second decision not to be annoyed by them. They may not even be trying to push your buttons--but if they are, you have the power to render that button "out of order". 

Today's Quote: 
"Most folks are as happy as they make their minds up to be."   
-- Abraham Lincoln

Profanity – The Addiction Nobody Talks About

“What does ‘Kiss my ass’ mean?”

Early Exposure

I—at age six—came home from school one day posing this question to my mother. I was a first grader at Floyd Elementary School in Montgomery, Alabama in the late 60’s. The schools were not far from their days of segregation—although this meant nothing to me at the time. In my little six-year-old mind, I just remember George Wallace was often on TV, and whenever I saw him, he seemed angry. This was before he became a born-again Christian (in the late 70’s) and apologized to civil rights leaders for his past actions as a segregationist.

A fellow student—Clifford—was supposed to be a third grader, but somehow was in my first grade class. He also seemed angry…a lot. Thinking back, the fact he was among the first African American children going through what had to be one of the toughest desegregations in United States history no doubt played a role. But again, none of this was relevant to my young mind in those early years. I just remember he was quite a bit bigger than the rest of us, was sometimes scary, didn’t seem to like anybody and introduced me to a lot of new language I’d never heard!

Just Ignore It

If you followed me @iWiNKRandoms on Twitter in early August 2013 (you ROCK because--as you can see in my tweet prior--I had just gotten started and hadn’t told anybody!), I talked about a funny quote of mine from early childhood when I was complaining to Mom about a bully at school: “I did ignore him, but he wouldn’t listen!”

I was talking about Clifford. Over the years, I’ve thought of him off and on, hoping he found a way out of his anger and made it to a happier existence. At the time I knew him though, profanity was a complete addiction of his. I didn’t realize it then, but the quote above was probably the cleanest one I brought home. Each time, Mom would tell me it’s not a very nice thing to say and to “ignore him,” which of course is what prompted that quote I’m still teased about on occasion.

The Study of Why

I believe these early experiences began my lifelong fascination with what makes people do the things they do. Why can some people handle what happens to them with grace and dignity, and other people resort to profanity and even violence at times? Why can some people channel their anger into healthy outlets like running and weightlifting, while others turn to substance abuse, verbal abuse and other destructive behavior? The list goes on and I continue to be intrigued, but I don’t have the answers. We can easily point to upbringing and circumstance, but how does one sibling make it and the other give up when they’ve had nearly the exact same life experience?

Make no mistake--I’ve caught myself using less-than-stellar words on occasion—but it’s not something I’m particularly proud of and I recognize it’s not the Ingra I really want to be. I just found George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Words and the first two are my main trip-ups (four-letter words which begin with “s” and “p”)…I thought number one would’ve been that ‘f’ word!

Nobody likes to think they’re an addict, but doesn't something--potentially harmful--we think we can’t live without put us in that category? If a profane word has never left your lips, you are addiction-free in this area. Congratulations--I don’t believe we’ve met!

Perhaps we’re more comfortable calling it a “habit”. Yeah, a bad habit we need to get rid of…but we don’t want to get rid of it. We need it somehow. It’s…an addiction.

How Much is Too Much?
Sure, some of us are more addicted than others…often reinforced by the positive feelings we get from people's laughter if the word or words are said with particularly good comedic timing.

I remember the beginning of the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral. It opened with several scenes of people running late for a wedding, and the one thing I really remember vividly was it seemed like every other word was that four-letter ‘f’ word I mentioned earlier. My husband and I had gone with my folks to that movie. My mother, the proper English teacher and later junior high/high school counselor (who has been my idol and basically taught good manners all my life) and my father, the United States Air Force Pilot and later academic PhD (whom I also admire and who can also be extremely disciplined) sat in silence as these f-bombs were exploding one after another all around us. I was horrified! I sank deeper and deeper in my seat until finally, my mother started laughing…HARD--and almost uncontrollably--which then tickled the rest of us so much that soon we were ALL laughing to the point of crying!

When the end result makes us feel this good, we might say “Well, if profanity is actually an addiction, it’s a pretty harmless one.”

But is that really true?

With profanity--as with other addictions--we can still:
- hurt the people we love.
- become even more drawn to it when someone tells us not to do it.
- fall into deeper use when we’re around others who do it all the time.
- get ourselves in a load of trouble professionally if we get caught doing it at an inopportune moment…so, is it really “harmless”?

A Football Faux Pas

If you follow college football, you might’ve heard the latest sting regarding this addiction…a recently released recording of a top coach using lots of the ‘f’ word regarding fair weather fans. It was an interesting study to hear and read all the chatter regarding this topic—including the possibility of a person losing their job over it. Bad habits don’t usually raise that much passion and concern…but addictions do. Public examples like this are not only embarrassing to those involved, but let’s make sure those lessons are not lost on the rest of us.

One of my favorite momilies (things my mom always says) is “never say anything you don’t want broadcast and never write anything you don’t want published.”

The Perfect Seasoning

We can find enablers for any addiction. Alcoholics can always find buddies who’ll give them a drink. Gamblers can always find people to take their money. Stress eaters can always find reasons to gorge. Chronic cussers are some of the toughest addicts out there, because most of us like at least a little of that seasoning too (in certain meals), so nobody wants to talk about it. While there may be no cure for addictions, there can always be a personal decision we make to aim higher...be a better version of ourselves...and that looks different for all of us.  Maybe the goal for a chronic cusser's better version, for example, would be simply to use profanity more sparingly and only when it brings joy!

This reminds me of another funny and relevant joke from Mom’s days as a counselor:

“How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb? 

Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.”

My hope is that lessons like that ranting coach recording encourage us to figure out how to channel our tendencies in healthier ways…”Cheese-n-Crackers, that’s a halibut long way to say getcher friggin’ sheep together!”

Okay, that solution’s not working for me either, but maybe there are other ways…

Today's Quote: 

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."   

-- Mark Twain

When NOT Using a Name is the Better Choice

I just saw on my Twitter feed Hurricane Ingrid is tearing up the Gulf of Mexico and I'm so sorry for the losses this is causing...I will hold those affected in my prayers and hope we see no more lives lost.

While I had decided last week--before I'd heard of any of this--to write about the challenges Ingrid has caused in my life, I meant the name Ingrid, so this hurricane situation certainly serves as a timely reminder to keep things in perspective.

For as long as I can remember, I've been explaining my name. It's Ingra, I-N-G-R-A. When meeting new people, I've learned to say "Hi I'm EEN-gruh" as articulately as I possibly can...but every so often, I get a response back like "Nice to meet you, Ingrid".

I've also been called Inger, Inga, Iiga, Ingram, Ing-a-ling, Inga-binga, Inkala-vincala, Inra, Ingrown, Gruh, Graskioli, Ingrabinski, Gigi, Heidi or anything remotely Swedish...you name it! While some were silly goofy names (I called Tony--who called me "Ingrown"--"Toenail", for example), many were honest blunders from folks with strong paradigms I was often challenged to shift. I had an English teacher in junior high, for example, who called me "Ingrid" the entire year! You can only correct a teacher so much before it affects your grade, so I gave up after two or three tries...yeah, that many--I guess I really wanted her to succeed!  ;oD

NOTE:  If you're familiar with the StrengthsFinder themes of talent, my number one is communication--which means you'll eventually know what I'm thinking, whether I want you to or not (a blessing and a curse)!

I was born Ingra Claire Winkler, created by my folks' lovingly clever idea of combining the middle names of my maternal grandmother Helen Ingra and my paternal grandmother Hazel Claire. I've always thought this was a sweet and beautiful combining of my folks' families, and have truly appreciated this christening all my life. Thank you Larry and Claudia!

Since a middle name is not often shared in introductions, I noticed early on I had to be extra careful saying "Ingra Winkler" because folks weren't always sure a) whether it was one or two names, b) where one name ended and the next name began and c) I wasn't speaking a whole different language for a second as they would often have me repeat it slowly or even spell it!

When I married Bret Anderson, I had already worked several jobs in media positions and wanted to keep "Winkler" in the mix, so I became Ingra Winkler Anderson, with no hyphen. This allows me to include or drop "Winkler" as I like in verbal introductions. On paper, I usually try to include all three names whenever I can. I've also been able to keep intact the names of my special project businesses which use Winkler in some way (i.e. iWiNK Productions, iWiNK Randoms, etc.). The choice to use my maiden name as essentially a middle name has worked out beautifully and I would highly recommend such a solution! 

So far, there's nobody else on the planet named Ingra Winkler Anderson, but there is actually a woman right here in Omaha named Engra Andersen, spelled with "e's", and our names sound exactly the same...tell me that isn't God's fun sense of humor! She and I have bumped into each other a couple times over the past 20+ years, and cheerfully joke we hope the other is keeping our reputation(s) up!  

The challenges I've experienced in this area have made me extra cautious about others' names as well, and I really try to get them right. If I'm unsure, I try not to use their name verbally and--if in written form--I will double-check spellings whenever I can.

This does not mean I've always gotten them right. My worst offense was when I was calling names at a university commencement ceremony. In my defense, I had to read 100's of names off cards being handed to me by each graduating senior as they approached the stage, so there wasn't any prep time for tricky pronunciations. However, I think this was a pretty simple name, but whatever came out of my mouth was nowhere close to what was on the card. I just remember her hollering back "that's not my name" and--while I restated the correct name without missing a beat--I felt AWFUL! It was one of the most important days of her life and I blew it. My sincere apologies if she ever reads this.

Names really are important to people and worth the extra effort to get them right. If you have uncertainties at times, it's best not to use names in those instances. As someone who has a lot of experience on the receiving end, I'd say it's worse to say it wrong than not to say it at all. Try some creative workarounds...maybe that's how "hey dude" got started!

Today's Quote: 

"I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names."
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Music is the Ultimate Emotional Trigger

Nothing moves me like music. 

I grew up watching girlfriends of mine cry at the drop of a hat and tended to think they were a bit over the top in dramatics.  Somehow I learned to suck it up early in life.  One time I can remember in particular--where everyone would've understood a good cry--was when I was about 12.  I accidentally batted a softball down into the sewer, and four of us girls lifted a manhole cover off with a crowbar to get it.  When we went to put the manhole cover back, I had a foot out too far and dropped it on my big toe--ooouuuccchhh!!!  Even then, I was reeling in pain, but managed to hop into the house away from the other kids before I would allow myself to cry, and still it was really more of a whimper...  

I think I was so good at sucking it up that it took my folks until the next day to think maybe we should get me to the hospital. When the doctor took an x-ray, it showed my toe had been broken into seven pieces...BUM.MER--that was it for track season!

Anyway, I have probably always had more of a logic-based than emotion-based personality...this is not to say I don't care about whatever the situation may be.  I am just more of an acknowledge the sadness, pray for God's peace and try to move on from it-type rather than a long-time wallower-type person.  When something not-so-pleasant happens, I will jokingly say to my husband, "Okay, let's allow five minutes of wallowing and then move on!"

That said--I've noticed over my life, however, that well-written, beautifully-performed music can bring me to my knees...

Sure, there have been moments when a well-matched music bed to a particularly emotion-packed scene in a movie has moved me to an over-the-top amount of tear-drowning.  I figure this is when I must be catching up from those moments in life where I've appeared to be strong and in control of my emotions!  I just needed a good cry. 

I also come from a family of musicians, so that might play a role in my emotional connection.  My dad was the youngest clarinetist in the Wichita Symphony Orchestra, paid his way through college teaching clarinet lessons, earned his bachelor's and master's degrees in music, still gives clarinet performances at church, plays in orchestra pits for musicals, etc.  My oldest brother is a top-notch guitarist (currently in Blue House and the Rent-to-Own Horns), and has always been the type who could pick up an instrument, figure it out and start paying something on it in a matter of minutes. My middle brother played trumpet and piano growing up, and my mom played piano and sang, so there was always music around, and these are warm memories of mine from childhood.

But even just a well-done musical performance by someone I've never seen or heard--with nothing but the storyteller's facial expressions and the musical journey they're taking me on--can move me to tears. What is that about?!

I was reading The Science Of Music - Why Do Songs In A Minor Key Sound Sad? from NME Blog and found this explanation to be of interest:

"Let’s look at the nuts and bolts of sound. Tempo is obviously important. A simple minor chord (with three notes, also known as a ‘triad’) also uses a middle note that is closer to the tonic as compared to a major triad. Take for example the C triad chord (C, E, and G); in the minor version the middle note is E flat (closer to C) whereas in the major version we hear natural E (further away from C). The tonic (C) is the strongest note and draws more of our attention, so minor chords like this trigger more sensory dissonance, a kind of tension that stems from the clashing of closely spaced frequencies."

As a logic-based person, this dry scientific explanation as to what triggers emotion-based reactions is somewhat comical yet comforting to me.  Could it be some mathematical formula is dictating my emotions?  What complex AND simple creatures we can be! 

If you're like me, I'll bet the next time some musical performance moves you to tears, you'll be wondering about and maybe even checking on this major-minor key thing!

I would be remiss in writing anything about music without mentioning a wonderful organization to which I belong, and which has been a terrific outlet for me to scratch that entertainer itch I get on occasion!  Sweet Adelines International is a worldwide organization of female singers committed to advancing the barbershop artform of four-part a cappella harmony through education, competition and performance.  

This ain't yer grandma's barbershop...the singing and dancing members of the Acappella Omaha chapter--to which I'm proud to belong--call it "Glee for grown-ups"!  It's great fun, and yes, I can still be moved to tears on the musical delivery side of performances as well--especially when I see tears welling up in the eyes of our director, who has a beautifully expressive face--so I really have to work at going to the edge of the cliff without jumping off! 

If you're a female in the Omaha, Nebraska area who loves to sing, Acappella Omaha offers a great opportunity to strut your stuff!  The chorus rehearses Mondays, 7:00 PM in the Presbyterian Church of the Master, 10710 Corby Circle (just three blocks south of Maple) in Omaha, Nebraska. Visitors are welcome!  Call (402) 932-0155.  

Today's Quote: 
"I don't sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing."   
-- William James

Home Facelift a Creative Way to Add Curb Appeal

My husband Bret and I are HUGE Do-It-Yourselfers. We have saved many pennies over the years taking on this role as a hobby.  We love to line up multi-phased project goals, budget for supplies, plan designs, shop best prices, make relevant purchases, saw, assemble, hammer, paint, photograph and feel the sense of accomplishment which accompanies each finished result.  We've been embarking on journeys of this kind since we rented our first apartment together 25 years ago.

This past year, we took several steps toward finishing an exterior house facelift which began with an idea and a replacement of exterior lighting a few years back.  The idea was to bring more of a cottage look to our suburban home--complementing the gardens and sprinkling more of a playful joy into the curb appeal. Here are before and after pictures to show the transformation:

Curious as to how we did it? Another thing we both like to do is share helpful hints on what we've learned from our experiences in case others would like to do something similar, so here's the answer--or list of answers--to this question... 

After the lighting fixtures, we knew we wanted to replace our front door with a higher efficiency upgrade, so found a door to match our cottage flavor, and used the old door as a template to chisel out the hinge-areas, as shown here:

Spending every night after work for a week--obsessing online to find the ideal door knocker--yielded this fun friendly guy (plus a doorbell to match) to cheerfully greet our guests.  

A quick resewing and gathering of a set of curtain panels on pre-existing rods in the windows flanking the door--plus a cushion and pillows to spruce up an existing bench we repainted, and concrete stain on the stoop and steps--helped finish the front porch area from the outside. On the inside, we wanted to continue the storybook feel...

so we brought in red-orange whimsical rugs to match the existing orange art glass candle holders on an iron stand in the front entry, then hand-made a wreath to tie the red, orange and green palate together. The ribbon for the bow on the wreath was chosen to match the curtains on either side of the door.  

Then we also added a fun sign made with craft letters, glitter and a unique frame as shown.  BRet + INgra = BRIN Cottage!

Our first step for the overall exterior was to design a trim addition to add more of a cottage flavor, so I played on PhotoShop and we landed on a plan.  

Once we got all the trim cut and nailed up, we decided to cover the seam where the pieces met with a wooden version of a keystone. By the way, many don't know it really is "we" when I tell these stories--I always appreciate Bret allowing me to play Ingra-the-builder on occasion with his saw.  I enjoy doing something different every day, and he's a willing mentor in the power tools area!  

Once the trim and keystones were up, we wanted to find a paint closer to the taupe color I thought I had chosen when we first built the house 12 years ago.  For some reason, "light taupe" turned out to be "pale pink" once it was sprayed onto our house!  

Once we found the right shade of taupe, we played with different shades of burgundy, brown and plum for a trim color. We found a deep plum to be just the right fit--matching hues in the front door and drawing pink, burgundy and plum colors from surrounding plants in the front gardens.

A final touch on the front of the house was the inclusion of iron hinges and handles on the garage doors.  We've been taking our three dogs for Saturday morning rides through the Shadow Lake housing development in Papillion for the past several years to watch new houses being built, and have really liked the carriage door ironwork many of the homes are using, so we incorporated those in our cottage makeover.

The final project in this multi-phased transformation was to add an attached pergola to the south side of the house.  This has always been such a blank-looking side and it's the first thing folks see when they drive up, so we purchased a couple 4" x 4" pre-cut finial fence posts and cut them down to flank a box which holds a line of double-beveled spindles we cut in half for the top.  We finished the other end of the post by adding another finial, and used the cut-off portion as an angle brace. After playing with placement, we decided to line up the bottom of the pergola with the bottom of the front garage trim.

We've found the shadows this added structure makes at different times of the day to be an interesting aesthetic addition to a once bland view of the house. This project was a risk of sorts because we've never seen it done on the side of a house--only on the front over the garage--but we're very tickled with the results and are happy it worked out so well!

I hope sharing this journey has provided some ideas about how small changes here and there can add up to a fun facelift over time. It's always exciting to see folks working on their homes and gardens in some way. I personally feel it shows good stewardship of what God has entrusted in our care, and I hope it's also a favor to neighbors who have our home as their view!

Today's Quote:
"You can't use up creativity.  The more you use, the more you have."
-- Maya Angelou

Please See ME--NOT My Job Status!

Due to a subsidiary merger eliminating my position, I am--as I write this--now among the 11.5 million Americans currently between jobs.  I have a strong faith and know I'm going through this for reasons which will probably become clear in about 20 years, but it's still been a difficult part of my life's journey--as can be expected with such.  Blah, blah, blah--poor me...okay, now I'm done!

One thing I've really found interesting is how my employment status is the overwhelming topic of choice when folks see me.  My job has never been of interest to many of these folks...until I didn't have one.  I know (or at least hope!) these job inquiries stem from their caring about me, and I do appreciate the thought behind the words, but this experience has taught me a lot about what's helpful--and what would never be missed if it weren't said--so I felt moved to share in case of interest to others:

Thank you to all my friends and family members who have NEVER...

- said the following to me:
   "Have you found a job yet?"
   Trust me, the WORLD will know when that happens!
   "You haven't found a job yet?"
   While I appreciate this might be a recognition of the wide range of skills I offer, it also can have a kind of blaming-the-victim flavor.    
   "I can't believe no one's hired you yet!"
   Me either, but how is this helpful?!  ;oD

- acted jealous I'm NOT dressed like I just got off work and rushed to meet them.
  As a person who tries to focus on the positives, the fact most of my current work is at my home office on a computer--where I can wear shorts and a cami--NOT having to wear a suit is definitely a positive!  Please expect to see me dressed as casually as is publicly acceptable during this time in my life's journey.

- acted like my life is so much less stressful than theirs.
  Other than not knowing where my next job will be...or whether I can fit more job searching, article-reading, social-media-learning and marketing-myself in today than I did yesterday...or whether--when I'm offered a job--I'll fit in or not...or whether it will come sooner rather than later...or whether I really have online access to the jobs  which best fit me...or whether I'll have to take a job where I'm not able to be as creative or affect change as I truly need in my work...or whether I'll have to worry about outshining somebody--or--worry about those who outshine me refusing to share their knowledge to help me succeed...or whether those in higher positions will be helpful or hurtful (haven't we all had both!)...or whether I can keep up with all these social media advancements and truly grasp how to best use them to market...or whether I'll have to take a pay cut...or whether our personal finances will be in jeopardy to the point we'll have to sell our house in which we plan to retire...or whether it will affect my relationships with those closest to me...yeah, other than all those worries constantly bubbling under the surface, my life really is so much less stressful than others' (twitch, twitch)...NOT!  ;oP

- asked me to take on extra new projects under the assumption I have more free time.
  Knowing I have a hard time turning down creative volunteer projects for the non profits I love--and I AM continuing with MOST of my long-term commitments through this time--I did make the decision I wasn't doing anything additional philanthropically until I have a job again. This has been tested several times, but I know it was a wise decision as I could easily be a full-time volunteer...unfortunately that's not going to pay the bills!

One positive outcome of this whole situation is I don't have a choice but to embrace being out there now.  Because of past unwanted attention (I refer to as "My Five Stalkings"), I have avoided the social media craze with a passion--which has been quite a challenge as I've been in marketing/public relations/sales positions for more than 25 years, and social media is fast becoming THE focus of many promotional campaigns nowadays.  I'm also a writer and knew I could become obsessed with all the writing opportunities online!  Luckily--or so I thought--I had been able to delegate social media duties to assistants over the years...until now.  Now, my full-time job is looking for work, and I've found nobody looks at anybody who isn't on LinkedIn, so that has been my first big social adventure--developing my LinkedIn profile.  Continuing this exercise in becoming more familiar with social media--and especially the top three most popular sites--I have also put together a website with links to a Twitter page, a YouTube channel, a Facebook page and now this, a Blog page--all created by yours truly.  If you follow these links, you'll find some sites are more personal and others less so, some seem more complete and others less so...but my main goal at this point is to learn the tools to help others in the future, so please pardon any in progress feel to anything you might see.

I don't know where all this will lead, but I'm praying for a position where I can be doing something different every day, helping promote the organization for whom I work in writing, designing, speaking, movie-making, tweeting, blogging, training staff--you name it--leading the way to showing the world this wonderful gem-of-a-company I've found.  In the meantime, thanks again to all who are seeing me and not my job status and, if you're out of work and reading this--or just curious how to be a help to others--I wish you great success in your journey as well. See ya on the flip side!

Today's Quote:
"We can rebuild (her).  We have the technology.  We can make (her) better than (she) was.  Better...stronger...faster!"
-- adapted from The Six Million Dollar Man intro (1974-1978)