It's Only a Number!
As I write this today however, my middle brother Lance is celebrating his birthday. He's a superintendent for Hawkins Construction and has worked on many impressive projects in his career. He's out of bed by 4 AM, so when something awakened me a little after that this morning, I got up and sent him my obnoxious Happy Birthday Vine.
Our oldest sibling Loren--a talented musician, photographer, computer, creative type--had his birthday last week, so got that same Vine then--lucky him! Apparently my folks either had a once-a-year rule, or an especially fertile time of year as their three children have birthdays within two weeks of each other.
Paths of Independence
Loren, Lance and I have all been independent sorts from the get go. Our mother was an only child and our father was nine years old when his brother and only sibling was born, so both our folks were also independent children who learned to explore their own interests and entertain themselves at an early age. This is my mother's theory as to why we're all the way we are. The entire Winkler clan gets together two or three times a year and it is CRAZY FUN, but for the most part, we send warm wishes from afar and don't get into each other's lives too much. We also have very diverse passtimes, hobbies, interests, etc., which brings me to the subject of this blog--celebrating each others' differences.
Not Like the Other Girls
From my earliest memories, I knew I was unusual. Similar to a line from Michael Jackson's Thriller video, I have certainly been known to say, "I'm not like the other girls" (although let me say right now, I'm not a werewolf). When I was a kid, I could go from extreme tomboy behavior--like catching snakes, exploring sewers, molding mud into sculptures and collecting cigarette butts to smoke with buddies--to extreme girly-girl behavior--like playing dress-up, sewing dresses, knitting slippers and shopping for sparkling pretty things!
Nowadays, I release my inner tomboy when I go digging without gloves in the garden, as I'm allergic to smoke and no longer am as interested in snakes and sewers...although I still might spin a pot or two someday. I also work on projects with my husband and love to visit hardware stores. I never quite outgrew my love for playing dress-up or creating things, but can often scratch those itches with costumes I make for Sweet Adelines shows and events. For example, Acappella Omaha just held its annual spring style show and I reworked an old 50's era dress of my mother's and made a fun hat to match as we had an old-fashioned garden party theme. I shared that last hat Vine link with the chorus in case helpful as they were getting their outfits together, and got a kick out of the fact I've apparently made up a word for this object nobody else seems to know (perhaps my Swedish is showing)...here's my logic: loofah + uffdah = loofdah, an object used like a loofah, but it's beauty is so overwhelming, it makes you say "uffdah!"...yeah, that works!
People who know me from only one specific circle might be surprised or even shocked at other parts of my life, but they're all me. My interests have always been all over the place--I'm am octagonal peg which doesn't really fit in a square or round hole--and I've grown to be okay with that, even though I'm often made aware I'm not "normal". I've been blessed with strengths, skills and talents I strive to make use of wherever possible, whether it be to improve a company image, lead a group project, assist others in learning new skills or accomplish personal goals. I like to strive for excellence and have the most fun in those moments when I know I've actually achieved it. In the times I haven't, I do my best to learn from the experience and do better the next time. Sure, I get knocked down, but I get up again!
Letting People Be Who They Are
My most favorite people are the ones who let others be who they are, and I try my best to be that person to those around me as well. Isn't life more interesting when people really let us get to know them rather than some facade they feel they have to present? I'm not saying there isn't a time and place to learn to reign it in...in fact, my lifelong challenge has been to measure how much of my Mary Sunshine people can take. I've discovered not everybody wants to have much happy-happy-joy-joy shared with them, so I work on balancing that every day. It tickles me when I meet someone whose Mary Sunshine is mine x 10 and I think of folks I know who they could literally drive insane!
Remembering What Makes Us Tick
While I find our differences fascinating, I've learned to put people in categories to remember best practices for them because--epecially with octagonal pegs--there is no one-size-fits-all. What works for the majority may not be successful with them, so categories are really helpful. For example, I had a CEO I thought highly of and wanted her to know all the details of whatever specific decision I had made. When I later learned she really only wanted me to give her "the baby, not the labor pains", I edited down to in-a-nutshell descriptions and everyone was happy. She was in the "trusts my decisions--just needs a quick update" category! I also really liked that she was able to disagree agreeably in those rare moments when we weren't on the same page. She really tried to listen and not be a my-way-or-the-highway type, and sometimes I could even sell her on my differing idea! That to me is a decent leader.
Loving Doesn't Mean Endorsing
Letting people be who they are doesn't mean necessarily endorsing their choices. You may have drug/alcohol/tobacco/gambling/cursing/fill-in-the-blank-addicted friends you wish would quit, and if you care about them, you can watch for those times God gives you a moment here and there to plant seeds, but generally, they have to make those decisions on their own. My mother's favorite counseling joke comes to mind: "How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change."
Looking for the Good
That's why letting people be who they are and complimenting them on what you really like about them--essentially reinforcing the possitive--helps them show more of that version of themselves to you. Again, everybody wins--YAY!
Octagonal pegs can be polite, respectful, hard-working, fun, confident, helpful and--best of all--creative problem solvers, artists and conversationalists!
Whether you're octagonal, square, round--or heart-shaped--let's embrace our differences. The world is so much richer because we're ALL in it!
Today's Quote:
"Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another."
-- Marquis de Condorcet
Letting People Be Who They Are
My most favorite people are the ones who let others be who they are, and I try my best to be that person to those around me as well. Isn't life more interesting when people really let us get to know them rather than some facade they feel they have to present? I'm not saying there isn't a time and place to learn to reign it in...in fact, my lifelong challenge has been to measure how much of my Mary Sunshine people can take. I've discovered not everybody wants to have much happy-happy-joy-joy shared with them, so I work on balancing that every day. It tickles me when I meet someone whose Mary Sunshine is mine x 10 and I think of folks I know who they could literally drive insane!
Remembering What Makes Us Tick
While I find our differences fascinating, I've learned to put people in categories to remember best practices for them because--epecially with octagonal pegs--there is no one-size-fits-all. What works for the majority may not be successful with them, so categories are really helpful. For example, I had a CEO I thought highly of and wanted her to know all the details of whatever specific decision I had made. When I later learned she really only wanted me to give her "the baby, not the labor pains", I edited down to in-a-nutshell descriptions and everyone was happy. She was in the "trusts my decisions--just needs a quick update" category! I also really liked that she was able to disagree agreeably in those rare moments when we weren't on the same page. She really tried to listen and not be a my-way-or-the-highway type, and sometimes I could even sell her on my differing idea! That to me is a decent leader.
Loving Doesn't Mean Endorsing
Letting people be who they are doesn't mean necessarily endorsing their choices. You may have drug/alcohol/tobacco/gambling/cursing/fill-in-the-blank-addicted friends you wish would quit, and if you care about them, you can watch for those times God gives you a moment here and there to plant seeds, but generally, they have to make those decisions on their own. My mother's favorite counseling joke comes to mind: "How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change."
Looking for the Good
That's why letting people be who they are and complimenting them on what you really like about them--essentially reinforcing the possitive--helps them show more of that version of themselves to you. Again, everybody wins--YAY!
Octagonal pegs can be polite, respectful, hard-working, fun, confident, helpful and--best of all--creative problem solvers, artists and conversationalists!
Whether you're octagonal, square, round--or heart-shaped--let's embrace our differences. The world is so much richer because we're ALL in it!
Today's Quote:
"Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another."
-- Marquis de Condorcet
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