Many women in my life have been perennially concerned about others knowing their age for as long as I can remember. I've always celebrated mine and other people's ages and thought it sad they couldn't do the same. I feel every age has its high points and challenges, and the fact society seems to have overarching attitudes about such which can make people feel small is incredibly sad. In my experience, this seems to be more of a female challenge than male, but I'm sure both genders have moments of agism at some point. I try to move on and not dwell, but it's interesting how passing 50 has brought this to the surface more often than in previous years.I've been between full-time jobs--after my position was eliminated following a subsidiary merger--for more than two years, and have been looking for a public relations media spokesperson position in an education, entertainment or chamber type entity. With such specific goals, the opportunities have not been overly abundant, and in the probably less-than-10 positions for which I've been interviewed and considered, I've felt most of the passovers have been due to assumptions relating to my age. Where I see my wide range of experience as a plus, others may see it differently (she'll be asking for too much money; we won't hold her interest with this type of role; if we can't pay her what she was making previously, she won't stick around long; she might have paradigms to shift, etc.).
The truth is, no one job will ever be able to meet every need or interest of anybody's. That's why people have hobbies, are involved in groups outside work, sometimes have more than one job, have family lives, meet with friends for social events, etc. I've experienced this all my life because my interests have always been all over the place! My intention has never been to expect any one person, job or role to fulfill all my needs. This allows me to enjoy where I am when I'm there, and look forward to where I'll be next. I feel age and experience have allowed me to be that happier healthier hard-working responsible employee, family member, friend, group member, etc. and that's a good thing!
Last week, an incident occured which brought the age thing to light yet again. My husband, a school principal in a year-round school whose minimum days are 10 hours long--but who had been working even longer hours with parent-teacher conferences while fighting a bad cold--experienced a vasovagal syncope (fainting) episode at a restaurant with my folks and me. He had this happen 7+ years ago, when he was running a high-poverty school, putting a second school together and experiencing an extra heavy load of stress. At that time, he was completely checked out with a clean bill of health and we were told this is a common reaction to stress.
This time, as I was trying to explain his history to the folks in the restaurant, a few seconds went by with what looked like the sudden death of my husband, and I started to lose it...he had one eye looking straight, the other looking off to the side as if frozen in time (almost like a computer locking up), wasn't breathing, was totally limp, lost his water, etc. When the restaurant manager and I turned him on his side, he finally began to wake up. Again, a 911 call, fire truck, ambulance, trip to the hospital, all kinds of tests and again, a clean bill of health with assurance this is a common reaction to stress. However, other than his being sick and working longer hours, this week shouldn't have been any different than any other, so it seems less stress can bring this on now and we need to be extra careful. Has our age made drama like this even more likely? If we choose to, we can let worries like this keep us up at night...but that's what it is--it's a choice. We can also choose to move on, listen to our bodies, eat nourishing meals, exercise, live a more mindful existence, etc. None of us know how long we'll be here in this life. I believe episodes like this are those kick-in-the-pants reminders to cherish every moment.
I'm blessed to be in a female acappella chorus, whose youngest member in the 18+ years I've been with it has been nine, and the oldest member has been 90. We joke that "everyone's the same age in Sweet Adelines", but I think it's even more fun to know Molly member, age 60 is standing next to Sally Singer, age 20 and they are having a GREAT time harmonizing together! Age should not be the great separater society seems to make it at times. We can all learn from each other and celebrate what every age brings with it. Instead of allowing ourselves to find differences, let's start looking for the similarities and support one another in this human journey. Age it just a number!Speaking of such, the sun's going down on this Halloween evening, so I need to wrap this up and go see the adorable trick-or-treaters...
I'd LOVE to hear stories of how you celebrate yours and/or other's ages. Please share in the Comments section below and we can joint you in your positive perspective.
Today's Quote
"What helps with aging is serious cognition - thinking and understanding. You have to truly grasp that everybody ages. Everybody dies. There is no turning back the clock. So the question in life becomes: What are you going to do while you're here?"
-- Goldie Hawn
