What is it about we humans, that we get so easily bored with normalcy? If things are going too well in our lives, we look for things to worry about or pies to stick our fingers in which may cause upset...
Understanding Attachments and/or Addictions
We've all had friends and/or family members where we can clearly see what's causing all the challenges in their lives, and we think we have the answer as to how to fix it. If they'd just listen to us, their lives would be so much easier! I laugh at this trait in me as I tend to be very logic-based and am comfortable shining light on the elephant in the room in an effort to offer suggestions on how to escort him out! I'm a chronic problem-solver and enjoy the challenge of finding solutions. However--while my ideas may be just what is needed--they are not always appreciated. I find people often hang onto their stuff pretty tightly--like it's their child or best friend...
It's not that I don't understand attachments like this. I recognize addictions in my own life--if there's chocolate in the house, I'm all over it...if there's a forensics show on television, I'm glued to it...I'm fascinated with what makes people do the things they do, so yes, I'd be slowing down to see the train wreck as much as the next person. I'm sure there are people looking at my life and seeing obvious tweaks which could be made, and that's my point. We all seem to have stuff from which we can't seem to part. A leader in one of the groups with which I meet regularly once said something like this: "Just leave your bag of stuff at the door--it'll be there when you leave. I doubt any of us would want to trade ours for yours and vice versa."
It's true. Sometimes catching a glimpse of others' stuff makes us appreciate the fact we at least don't have that going on in our lives. In this sense, sometimes I feel my unemployment is as much a journey for those around me as it is for me. I don't know anyone who would want to be in my shoes in that respect, but for me, I have a strong faith and feel God is teaching me many things through this experience. Yes, I wish it would end soon...yes, I know patience is one of the things I need to work on...yes, I see the irony in making those two statements side by side! I once said to my husband, "I hope--if I'm going through this for anyone else's benefit--that they gain what they need to out of it sooner rather than later, so I can get back to work!"
I remember a lecture my husband Bret and I attended, to hear leadership author John Maxwell speak and have a book-signing. Maxwell talked about the days when he was a pastor in counseling sessions with congregants. They would share their trials, he would prescribe solutions and they'd be back the next week with new challenges--like it was an addiction to the drama those problems provided. Maxwell said he finally couldn't do it anymore and moved onto other pursuits. He's certainly found his niche as he's written well over 60 books and sold over 19 million copies. He's a favorite author of ours.
I've been in many leadership positions in my life and continue to learn new things. I recently had a friend ask for my advice in this area, and one key thing I've learned in this day and age of instant messaging, texting, emails and the like is: know when to back away from the keyboard! We often know what actions will stir people up and what will enhance relationships, but we don't always act accordingly. I believe some of that stems from this human addiction to drama, but I also believe we are sometimes moved to illuminate the elephant in the room in an effort to spur future growth. I don't mind doing this on occasion if I see how it can lead to positive improvements, but I recognize my doing so doesn't always make me popular. Because of this, I work very hard to generally be a positive upbeat friendly person, so the suggestions I make can be seen in the helpful spirit in which they are intended. I'm sure there's still a "Well, I Never--!" response here and there, but like Taylor Swift sings, "haters gonna hate-hate-hate-hate-hate..."
What's really rewarding is when I see someone act on my suggestion(s), and learn firsthand my intention was to aid improvement and strive for excellence--not to add drama. For this reason, I strive to maintain a coach-able mindset in myself as I believe a true act of maturity is when we can get out of our own way and grow--no matter what level we are in our lives, careers and hobbies. I'm still striving...
Todays' Quote:
“Perfection does not exist--you can always do better and you can always grow.”
― Les Brown
