I've been challenged with a cold and bad cough for close to a month, and it has really forced me to slow down and take stock of my life and current pursuits. It began in the countdown to Acappella Omaha's fall show--Out-of-This-World Harmony: Good for What's Alien Ya!--in which I was an actor, singer, dancer, promoter, ad designer, ad buyer, flyer designer, postcard designer, ticket designer, program designer and would-be media spokesperson--had we gotten any invitations from the media blitz of press releases to 30+ outlets I also did. I'm not listing all this as a "waa, waa, poor me." I got myself into it all and fully intended to handle it with grace and dignity...until illness set in. I can usually shorten such a cold with three days' bedrest, but had put off the focus on my health so long, it has taken a lot longer to recover.
On top of all that, I was blessed with some contract work for my little iWiNK Enterprises business, and have had other interest in me for future work. I've lamented the fact that I've felt so miserable, I haven't even been able to fully enjoy all these nuggets of hope sprinkled in my path! Okay, maybe that last comment was a little "poor me", but I really do appreciate all that's going on--nice and/or sometimes challenging.
Life often tosses in those kick-in-the-pants moments where deeper thought and consideration is needed. This weekend--on Thanksgiving day, in fact--my husband's step uncle passed away. This was one of those loved-by-all types of guys whose last few years were stolen by Alzheimer's, so while not a total shock, it does make one remember our time here is not infinite. We need to spend it wisely--with people who love, value and appreciate us, and with those about whom we care deeply. The blessing amidst the grieving in that same family is the birth of a tiny baby girl a couple days later--life is a mystery...
I'm still fighting the crud, so won't continue to wax on about such, but just wanted to fulfill my blog-a-month self goal with a snapshot of where I am right now...and I believe it's a transition of sorts--only time will tell.
If you've gone through an illness you think meant more, I'd love to see your story in the Comments section below. Many blessings to you and yours this Thanksgiving time of year. I'm thankful for many things--including anybody who actually reads this blog! ;oD
Today's Quote
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."
-- Pablo Picasso
Monday, November 30, 2015
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Age is to be Celebrated (you'll understand when you're older)!
I've had several recent events which have made me more keenly aware of my age of late, and I felt moved to make this month's blog about loving your age--whatever it is.
Many women in my life have been perennially concerned about others knowing their age for as long as I can remember. I've always celebrated mine and other people's ages and thought it sad they couldn't do the same. I feel every age has its high points and challenges, and the fact society seems to have overarching attitudes about such which can make people feel small is incredibly sad. In my experience, this seems to be more of a female challenge than male, but I'm sure both genders have moments of agism at some point. I try to move on and not dwell, but it's interesting how passing 50 has brought this to the surface more often than in previous years.
I've been between full-time jobs--after my position was eliminated following a subsidiary merger--for more than two years, and have been looking for a public relations media spokesperson position in an education, entertainment or chamber type entity. With such specific goals, the opportunities have not been overly abundant, and in the probably less-than-10 positions for which I've been interviewed and considered, I've felt most of the passovers have been due to assumptions relating to my age. Where I see my wide range of experience as a plus, others may see it differently (she'll be asking for too much money; we won't hold her interest with this type of role; if we can't pay her what she was making previously, she won't stick around long; she might have paradigms to shift, etc.).
The truth is, no one job will ever be able to meet every need or interest of anybody's. That's why people have hobbies, are involved in groups outside work, sometimes have more than one job, have family lives, meet with friends for social events, etc. I've experienced this all my life because my interests have always been all over the place! My intention has never been to expect any one person, job or role to fulfill all my needs. This allows me to enjoy where I am when I'm there, and look forward to where I'll be next. I feel age and experience have allowed me to be that happier healthier hard-working responsible employee, family member, friend, group member, etc. and that's a good thing!
Last week, an incident occured which brought the age thing to light yet again. My husband, a school principal in a year-round school whose minimum days are 10 hours long--but who had been working even longer hours with parent-teacher conferences while fighting a bad cold--experienced a vasovagal syncope (fainting) episode at a restaurant with my folks and me. He had this happen 7+ years ago, when he was running a high-poverty school, putting a second school together and experiencing an extra heavy load of stress. At that time, he was completely checked out with a clean bill of health and we were told this is a common reaction to stress.
This time, as I was trying to explain his history to the folks in the restaurant, a few seconds went by with what looked like the sudden death of my husband, and I started to lose it...he had one eye looking straight, the other looking off to the side as if frozen in time (almost like a computer locking up), wasn't breathing, was totally limp, lost his water, etc. When the restaurant manager and I turned him on his side, he finally began to wake up. Again, a 911 call, fire truck, ambulance, trip to the hospital, all kinds of tests and again, a clean bill of health with assurance this is a common reaction to stress. However, other than his being sick and working longer hours, this week shouldn't have been any different than any other, so it seems less stress can bring this on now and we need to be extra careful. Has our age made drama like this even more likely? If we choose to, we can let worries like this keep us up at night...but that's what it is--it's a choice. We can also choose to move on, listen to our bodies, eat nourishing meals, exercise, live a more mindful existence, etc. None of us know how long we'll be here in this life. I believe episodes like this are those kick-in-the-pants reminders to cherish every moment.
I'm blessed to be in a female acappella chorus, whose youngest member in the 18+ years I've been with it has been nine, and the oldest member has been 90. We joke that "everyone's the same age in Sweet Adelines", but I think it's even more fun to know Molly member, age 60 is standing next to Sally Singer, age 20 and they are having a GREAT time harmonizing together! Age should not be the great separater society seems to make it at times. We can all learn from each other and celebrate what every age brings with it. Instead of allowing ourselves to find differences, let's start looking for the similarities and support one another in this human journey. Age it just a number!
Speaking of such, the sun's going down on this Halloween evening, so I need to wrap this up and go see the adorable trick-or-treaters...
I'd LOVE to hear stories of how you celebrate yours and/or other's ages. Please share in the Comments section below and we can joint you in your positive perspective.
Today's Quote
"What helps with aging is serious cognition - thinking and understanding. You have to truly grasp that everybody ages. Everybody dies. There is no turning back the clock. So the question in life becomes: What are you going to do while you're here?"
-- Goldie Hawn
Many women in my life have been perennially concerned about others knowing their age for as long as I can remember. I've always celebrated mine and other people's ages and thought it sad they couldn't do the same. I feel every age has its high points and challenges, and the fact society seems to have overarching attitudes about such which can make people feel small is incredibly sad. In my experience, this seems to be more of a female challenge than male, but I'm sure both genders have moments of agism at some point. I try to move on and not dwell, but it's interesting how passing 50 has brought this to the surface more often than in previous years.I've been between full-time jobs--after my position was eliminated following a subsidiary merger--for more than two years, and have been looking for a public relations media spokesperson position in an education, entertainment or chamber type entity. With such specific goals, the opportunities have not been overly abundant, and in the probably less-than-10 positions for which I've been interviewed and considered, I've felt most of the passovers have been due to assumptions relating to my age. Where I see my wide range of experience as a plus, others may see it differently (she'll be asking for too much money; we won't hold her interest with this type of role; if we can't pay her what she was making previously, she won't stick around long; she might have paradigms to shift, etc.).
The truth is, no one job will ever be able to meet every need or interest of anybody's. That's why people have hobbies, are involved in groups outside work, sometimes have more than one job, have family lives, meet with friends for social events, etc. I've experienced this all my life because my interests have always been all over the place! My intention has never been to expect any one person, job or role to fulfill all my needs. This allows me to enjoy where I am when I'm there, and look forward to where I'll be next. I feel age and experience have allowed me to be that happier healthier hard-working responsible employee, family member, friend, group member, etc. and that's a good thing!
Last week, an incident occured which brought the age thing to light yet again. My husband, a school principal in a year-round school whose minimum days are 10 hours long--but who had been working even longer hours with parent-teacher conferences while fighting a bad cold--experienced a vasovagal syncope (fainting) episode at a restaurant with my folks and me. He had this happen 7+ years ago, when he was running a high-poverty school, putting a second school together and experiencing an extra heavy load of stress. At that time, he was completely checked out with a clean bill of health and we were told this is a common reaction to stress.
This time, as I was trying to explain his history to the folks in the restaurant, a few seconds went by with what looked like the sudden death of my husband, and I started to lose it...he had one eye looking straight, the other looking off to the side as if frozen in time (almost like a computer locking up), wasn't breathing, was totally limp, lost his water, etc. When the restaurant manager and I turned him on his side, he finally began to wake up. Again, a 911 call, fire truck, ambulance, trip to the hospital, all kinds of tests and again, a clean bill of health with assurance this is a common reaction to stress. However, other than his being sick and working longer hours, this week shouldn't have been any different than any other, so it seems less stress can bring this on now and we need to be extra careful. Has our age made drama like this even more likely? If we choose to, we can let worries like this keep us up at night...but that's what it is--it's a choice. We can also choose to move on, listen to our bodies, eat nourishing meals, exercise, live a more mindful existence, etc. None of us know how long we'll be here in this life. I believe episodes like this are those kick-in-the-pants reminders to cherish every moment.
I'm blessed to be in a female acappella chorus, whose youngest member in the 18+ years I've been with it has been nine, and the oldest member has been 90. We joke that "everyone's the same age in Sweet Adelines", but I think it's even more fun to know Molly member, age 60 is standing next to Sally Singer, age 20 and they are having a GREAT time harmonizing together! Age should not be the great separater society seems to make it at times. We can all learn from each other and celebrate what every age brings with it. Instead of allowing ourselves to find differences, let's start looking for the similarities and support one another in this human journey. Age it just a number!Speaking of such, the sun's going down on this Halloween evening, so I need to wrap this up and go see the adorable trick-or-treaters...
I'd LOVE to hear stories of how you celebrate yours and/or other's ages. Please share in the Comments section below and we can joint you in your positive perspective.
Today's Quote
"What helps with aging is serious cognition - thinking and understanding. You have to truly grasp that everybody ages. Everybody dies. There is no turning back the clock. So the question in life becomes: What are you going to do while you're here?"
-- Goldie Hawn
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
A Review and Recommendation of Achor's Happy Secret TEDx Talk
In my efforts toward personal and professional growth, I subscribe to and/or follow a variety of online offerings--one of which is the TEDx channel on YouTube. TEDx is an independently-organized version of TED Talks (TED = Technology, Entertainment, Design--a global set of conferences run by Sapling Foundation with the slogan "ideas worth spreading"). Every once in awhile, I'll scan the topics or a TEDx Talk will pop up in my feed and pique my interest. The last one I watched was really worthwhile--Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work. It's a unique, often hilarious and surprisingly scientific look at how our brain works and how we often misdiagnose what it really is that makes us happy.
Some of the examples he used and the general positive slant reminded me of why I like the Clifton StrengthsFinder so much. It lets people be who they are, focusing on the positive skills, talents and knowledge each person brings to the table--not where they fall short (which we all do somewhere down the line). The idea is we can spend a bunch of time working on improving our weaknesses--but they'll only improve minimally for all our efforts (because they're a weakness!)--OR we can put our focus on maximizing our strengths, which have a much better chance of getting us to the next level of whatever we're looking to accomplish.
Achor talks about how a typical study eliminates the outliers on a graph because they aren't normal and are "messing up" the data. Then he points out that "normal" really means "average" and if all we study is average, we will remain average.
Achor says "instead of deleting those positive outliers, what I intentionally do is come into a population like this one and say why...why is it that some of you are so high above the curve in terms of your intellectual ability, athletic ability, musical ability, creativity, energy levels, your resiliency in the face of challenge, your sense of humor, whatever it is--instead of deleting you, what I want to do is study you, because maybe we can glean information--not just how to move people up to the average, but how we can move the entire average up at our companies and schools worldwide."
Changing the lens through which our brain views the world makes all the difference, according to Achor. He says only 25% of job successes are predicted by IQ. 75% of job successes are predicted by optimism level, social support and ability to see stress as a challenge instead of a threat.
The brain at positive is 31% more productive than at negative, neutral or stressed. Dopamine (released in a positive mindset) turns on all the learning centers in the brain, allowing us to adapt to the world in a different way. Achor makes several suggestions to rewire our brains for greater success and I hope you'll make time for the 12 minutes in which he shares all this as it's really fascinating. It's always a helpful reminder to see the attitude of gratitude wisdom framed in a different way, but this TEDx has a more scientific slant and quick-witted humor I really enjoyed. I highly recommend watching and possibly sharing with your groups, staff, etc. if you have the chance.
Today's Quote:
"When we fill our thoughts with the right things, the wrong ones have no room to enter."
-- Joyce Meyer
Some of the examples he used and the general positive slant reminded me of why I like the Clifton StrengthsFinder so much. It lets people be who they are, focusing on the positive skills, talents and knowledge each person brings to the table--not where they fall short (which we all do somewhere down the line). The idea is we can spend a bunch of time working on improving our weaknesses--but they'll only improve minimally for all our efforts (because they're a weakness!)--OR we can put our focus on maximizing our strengths, which have a much better chance of getting us to the next level of whatever we're looking to accomplish.
Achor talks about how a typical study eliminates the outliers on a graph because they aren't normal and are "messing up" the data. Then he points out that "normal" really means "average" and if all we study is average, we will remain average.
Achor says "instead of deleting those positive outliers, what I intentionally do is come into a population like this one and say why...why is it that some of you are so high above the curve in terms of your intellectual ability, athletic ability, musical ability, creativity, energy levels, your resiliency in the face of challenge, your sense of humor, whatever it is--instead of deleting you, what I want to do is study you, because maybe we can glean information--not just how to move people up to the average, but how we can move the entire average up at our companies and schools worldwide."
Changing the lens through which our brain views the world makes all the difference, according to Achor. He says only 25% of job successes are predicted by IQ. 75% of job successes are predicted by optimism level, social support and ability to see stress as a challenge instead of a threat.
The brain at positive is 31% more productive than at negative, neutral or stressed. Dopamine (released in a positive mindset) turns on all the learning centers in the brain, allowing us to adapt to the world in a different way. Achor makes several suggestions to rewire our brains for greater success and I hope you'll make time for the 12 minutes in which he shares all this as it's really fascinating. It's always a helpful reminder to see the attitude of gratitude wisdom framed in a different way, but this TEDx has a more scientific slant and quick-witted humor I really enjoyed. I highly recommend watching and possibly sharing with your groups, staff, etc. if you have the chance.
Today's Quote:
"When we fill our thoughts with the right things, the wrong ones have no room to enter."
-- Joyce Meyer
Monday, August 31, 2015
The 11 Chords Used in Barbershop Arrangements & Ways to Remember Them
I've been a member of Acappella Omaha--a chorus chapter of Sweet Adelines International--for more than 18 years and have taken advantage of many of the educational symposiums and other offerings the organization provides. Just recently, I enrolled in an Arrange-by-Mail course offered by long-time arranger Kay Brommert, and supplemented by an arranger's workbook the organization offers. I wish I had done this years ago! It's been very interesting and I'm finding I'm really enjoying the challenge of all the music theory. This in no way means I've internalized even half of it, but I'm finding creative ways to work on such, and I decided to share my latest here in case helpful to anyone. This is a copy of my hand-written notes describing the unique characteristics of each of the eleven chords used in barbershop arrangements. I heard recently some school curriculum plans are eliminating cursive, so I'm also sharing in hopes of celebrating this more efficient form of hand-writing, which should be kept alive for so many reasons, I may have to blog about it someday...anyway, happy reading and learning!
Today's Quote:
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
-- Confucius
-- Confucius
Friday, July 31, 2015
How to Repurpose Old Light Fixtures to Enhance Patio and Garden Areas
There is an biannual event in the Omaha area called "Junkstock", where folks have repurposed old junk into something beautiful or quirky or even junkier, but with pizazz...at least that's what I hear. My husband Bret and I have never made it to this event...probably because we have enough junk of our own which we hang onto so long (you know, because we might be able to do something creative with it!) that--if anything--we should be a vendor at one of these events!
After I posted something about Junkstock on my Facebook page, I started thinking of old repurposing projects I hadn't gotten to, and the broken chandelier from my childhood home came to mind. My folks had tossed it our way with a "maybe you can do something with this" years ago, and it's been sitting in our basement storage with several of the crystals falling off and the fixture itself in a twisted mangled mess from loose screws on several of the arms. All this talk of junk suddenly inspired me to tackle this project! Here's a step-by-step--by way of Vine videos--of how this went from junk to something fun and unique...
I found some simpler copper-colored solar lights which didn't compete so much with the cut crystals, so here's what the final fixture ended up looking like:
Shortly after finishing this project, Bret and I were in a Nebraska Habitat for Humanity ReStore and stumbled upon a couple old pendulum lights for $3 apiece, so I repurposed those into outdoor lighting as well.
Who knows--if I keep going, maybe I'll have a booth someday at Junkstock...or just some cool lights in our garden!
What old junk have you repurposed into something fun? I'd love to hear from you in the Comments section below--and don't forget to include pictures. Peace, love and junk, man...peace, love and junk.
Today's Quote:
"OLD is the new NEW."
-- ReHouse Architectural Salvage
After I posted something about Junkstock on my Facebook page, I started thinking of old repurposing projects I hadn't gotten to, and the broken chandelier from my childhood home came to mind. My folks had tossed it our way with a "maybe you can do something with this" years ago, and it's been sitting in our basement storage with several of the crystals falling off and the fixture itself in a twisted mangled mess from loose screws on several of the arms. All this talk of junk suddenly inspired me to tackle this project! Here's a step-by-step--by way of Vine videos--of how this went from junk to something fun and unique...
I found some simpler copper-colored solar lights which didn't compete so much with the cut crystals, so here's what the final fixture ended up looking like:
Shortly after finishing this project, Bret and I were in a Nebraska Habitat for Humanity ReStore and stumbled upon a couple old pendulum lights for $3 apiece, so I repurposed those into outdoor lighting as well.
What old junk have you repurposed into something fun? I'd love to hear from you in the Comments section below--and don't forget to include pictures. Peace, love and junk, man...peace, love and junk.
Today's Quote:
"OLD is the new NEW."
-- ReHouse Architectural Salvage
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
It Can Wait: The Art of Knowing When to 'Sit on It'!
While I don't always like to think of myself as a driver personality, I do have 'achiever' in my top five strengths (see StrengthsFinder.com), so I'm more naturally wired to get things done!
I really have to work on patience sometimes as there are always people and protocols which can be perceived as getting in the way of progress. Sometimes I can see the logic, but other times the hold ups are for reasons unknown. Something I've had to work on at times in my life is the waiting part...waiting to speak...waiting to act...waiting for protocols...waiting for red tape...waiting for approval...waiting to respond...waiting to address problems, etc., which brings me to today's topic: It Can Wait: The Art of Knowing When to 'Sit on It'!
Not everything needs to be addressed immediately...or even ever...I've noted--in the times I've been able to 'sit on it'--some things resolve themselves!
For example, I've learned to 'sit on it' when I receive an email with someone stressed out about something--especially when it has a baiting feel (like if I answer, I'll get drawn into an argument). More than a few times, I've found allowing the other person to review what they've written with fresh eyes the next day often results in their retracting or restating what information they're really looking for in a more professional manner. Either way, further communication usually takes a more positive healthy upswing, which is better for everyone involved.
Since communication is my number one strength (see StrengthsFinder.com), I have no problem talking about whatever challenge is being faced, and tackling it head on for the best solutions. I can agree to disagree agreeably, and I've found this open communication allows everyone to know where each other stands at any given time.
However, not everybody is able to this, so I have to be sensitive to those who can't handle such direct honesty. My observations and interactions have taught me there are actually people who would rather go through life totally oblivious to anything they perceive as negative. These are the same people who come to me to address certain issues as it stresses them out too much to deal with it. This can make me unpopular--or popular--depending on how my efforts are received, but I've always found I can take being unpopular if it means shining light on an issue ends in a better working environment for all involved.
If I perceive a molehill has been made into a mountain, however, I'm also comfortable illuminating that possibility for whoever's asking me to handle something. Just because I'm a friend or colleague doesn't mean I'll ever be great at sugar-coating. People can count on me to be straight with them, but I do try to be positive in my interactions as much as possible--whatever the situation. Nevertheless, as I progress in life, I'm finding more and more that we humans have a tendency to take ourselves and others too seriously at times, and that's usually not the healthiest mode of operation, if given a choice.
I've observed other leaders who have mastered the art of sitting on it, and feel it's a better mode of operation than addressing every little thing that may need tweaking. People usually know when they've goofed something up. Why not praise them for what they're doing right and get more of that?
Has there been a time recently when you wished you'd been better at sitting on it rather than addressing it? If you're comfortable sharing in the Comments section below, I'd love to hear your story and learn from your experience as well. Maybe we can help each other know better when 'it can wait'!
Today's Quote:
“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
― Benjamin Franklin
I really have to work on patience sometimes as there are always people and protocols which can be perceived as getting in the way of progress. Sometimes I can see the logic, but other times the hold ups are for reasons unknown. Something I've had to work on at times in my life is the waiting part...waiting to speak...waiting to act...waiting for protocols...waiting for red tape...waiting for approval...waiting to respond...waiting to address problems, etc., which brings me to today's topic: It Can Wait: The Art of Knowing When to 'Sit on It'!
Not everything needs to be addressed immediately...or even ever...I've noted--in the times I've been able to 'sit on it'--some things resolve themselves!
For example, I've learned to 'sit on it' when I receive an email with someone stressed out about something--especially when it has a baiting feel (like if I answer, I'll get drawn into an argument). More than a few times, I've found allowing the other person to review what they've written with fresh eyes the next day often results in their retracting or restating what information they're really looking for in a more professional manner. Either way, further communication usually takes a more positive healthy upswing, which is better for everyone involved.
Since communication is my number one strength (see StrengthsFinder.com), I have no problem talking about whatever challenge is being faced, and tackling it head on for the best solutions. I can agree to disagree agreeably, and I've found this open communication allows everyone to know where each other stands at any given time.
However, not everybody is able to this, so I have to be sensitive to those who can't handle such direct honesty. My observations and interactions have taught me there are actually people who would rather go through life totally oblivious to anything they perceive as negative. These are the same people who come to me to address certain issues as it stresses them out too much to deal with it. This can make me unpopular--or popular--depending on how my efforts are received, but I've always found I can take being unpopular if it means shining light on an issue ends in a better working environment for all involved.
If I perceive a molehill has been made into a mountain, however, I'm also comfortable illuminating that possibility for whoever's asking me to handle something. Just because I'm a friend or colleague doesn't mean I'll ever be great at sugar-coating. People can count on me to be straight with them, but I do try to be positive in my interactions as much as possible--whatever the situation. Nevertheless, as I progress in life, I'm finding more and more that we humans have a tendency to take ourselves and others too seriously at times, and that's usually not the healthiest mode of operation, if given a choice.
I've observed other leaders who have mastered the art of sitting on it, and feel it's a better mode of operation than addressing every little thing that may need tweaking. People usually know when they've goofed something up. Why not praise them for what they're doing right and get more of that?
Has there been a time recently when you wished you'd been better at sitting on it rather than addressing it? If you're comfortable sharing in the Comments section below, I'd love to hear your story and learn from your experience as well. Maybe we can help each other know better when 'it can wait'!
Today's Quote:
“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
― Benjamin Franklin
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
The Importance of Vacations--Even for the Unemployed
Whether an actual 'vacation' our 'staycation', an occasional break from the dailyness of life can prove beneficial to any human. I happen to be between jobs after my position was eliminated following a subsidiary merger. I have been exploring several fee-for-service earning options in the interim, but so far, nothing close to a living is being made. That plus daily combing through hundreds of emails relating to the job hunt--PLUS volunteer tasks which occasionally feel like a full-time job--often make for a busier life than I had before!
That's why--for the first time in our 29 years together--my husband Bret and I made the decision to take advantage of one of his work-related trips, add a couple extra days, have me tag along and call it a working vacation--we're on it right now, as I write this. Why am I writing instead of touring our Nation's Capitol? Because my self-imposed end-of-month deadline has turned into the beginning of the next month!
I'm also waiting for Bret to finish payroll and ensure there are no fires to put out. He's a school principal and we're in Washington, DC for him to accept a National award his school won.
I'm finding it interesting how hard it is for me to leave my 'work' behind. This may also be due to 'achiever' being in my top five (see StrengthsFinder.com). However, walking for miles, photo-documenting monuments and reading museum plaques can also feed my achiever, so I'm sure it'll take my mind off life for awhile...
Break here while we visit the Ronald Reagan/International Trade Center, Holocaust Museum, National Monument, World War I Memorial, World War II Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, Korean War Memorial, Vietnam Memorial, Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial, etc.
Wow. What a day! By the time we made it back to the hotel at nearly 8 PM, we were soaking wet from several on again off again rain showers and one HUGE downpour, during which both our phones buzzed flash flood warnings! However, without the rain, my comments would remain the same. Wow. What a day! Just one day of sight-seeing has made this trip worthwhile. If you've never been and get the chance to visit DC--take it.
I'm very thankful for this opportunity as I hadn't realized how much we both needed to just get away from the heaviness of life for awhile. Knowing how hard it is to make something like this happen when you're unemployed makes me doubly grateful. Vacations--even the very cheapest of sorts if money is scarce--truly are important, for the physical and mental renewal we all need to maintain a healthy human experience. The next chance you have for such a break, I hope you'll take it!
Today's Quote:
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
-- Maya Angelou
Thursday, April 30, 2015
The Human Addiction to Drama: Well, I Never--!
What is it about we humans, that we get so easily bored with normalcy? If things are going too well in our lives, we look for things to worry about or pies to stick our fingers in which may cause upset...
Understanding Attachments and/or Addictions
We've all had friends and/or family members where we can clearly see what's causing all the challenges in their lives, and we think we have the answer as to how to fix it. If they'd just listen to us, their lives would be so much easier! I laugh at this trait in me as I tend to be very logic-based and am comfortable shining light on the elephant in the room in an effort to offer suggestions on how to escort him out! I'm a chronic problem-solver and enjoy the challenge of finding solutions. However--while my ideas may be just what is needed--they are not always appreciated. I find people often hang onto their stuff pretty tightly--like it's their child or best friend...
It's not that I don't understand attachments like this. I recognize addictions in my own life--if there's chocolate in the house, I'm all over it...if there's a forensics show on television, I'm glued to it...I'm fascinated with what makes people do the things they do, so yes, I'd be slowing down to see the train wreck as much as the next person. I'm sure there are people looking at my life and seeing obvious tweaks which could be made, and that's my point. We all seem to have stuff from which we can't seem to part. A leader in one of the groups with which I meet regularly once said something like this: "Just leave your bag of stuff at the door--it'll be there when you leave. I doubt any of us would want to trade ours for yours and vice versa."
It's true. Sometimes catching a glimpse of others' stuff makes us appreciate the fact we at least don't have that going on in our lives. In this sense, sometimes I feel my unemployment is as much a journey for those around me as it is for me. I don't know anyone who would want to be in my shoes in that respect, but for me, I have a strong faith and feel God is teaching me many things through this experience. Yes, I wish it would end soon...yes, I know patience is one of the things I need to work on...yes, I see the irony in making those two statements side by side! I once said to my husband, "I hope--if I'm going through this for anyone else's benefit--that they gain what they need to out of it sooner rather than later, so I can get back to work!"
I remember a lecture my husband Bret and I attended, to hear leadership author John Maxwell speak and have a book-signing. Maxwell talked about the days when he was a pastor in counseling sessions with congregants. They would share their trials, he would prescribe solutions and they'd be back the next week with new challenges--like it was an addiction to the drama those problems provided. Maxwell said he finally couldn't do it anymore and moved onto other pursuits. He's certainly found his niche as he's written well over 60 books and sold over 19 million copies. He's a favorite author of ours.
I've been in many leadership positions in my life and continue to learn new things. I recently had a friend ask for my advice in this area, and one key thing I've learned in this day and age of instant messaging, texting, emails and the like is: know when to back away from the keyboard! We often know what actions will stir people up and what will enhance relationships, but we don't always act accordingly. I believe some of that stems from this human addiction to drama, but I also believe we are sometimes moved to illuminate the elephant in the room in an effort to spur future growth. I don't mind doing this on occasion if I see how it can lead to positive improvements, but I recognize my doing so doesn't always make me popular. Because of this, I work very hard to generally be a positive upbeat friendly person, so the suggestions I make can be seen in the helpful spirit in which they are intended. I'm sure there's still a "Well, I Never--!" response here and there, but like Taylor Swift sings, "haters gonna hate-hate-hate-hate-hate..."
What's really rewarding is when I see someone act on my suggestion(s), and learn firsthand my intention was to aid improvement and strive for excellence--not to add drama. For this reason, I strive to maintain a coach-able mindset in myself as I believe a true act of maturity is when we can get out of our own way and grow--no matter what level we are in our lives, careers and hobbies. I'm still striving...
Todays' Quote:
“Perfection does not exist--you can always do better and you can always grow.”
― Les Brown
Understanding Attachments and/or Addictions
We've all had friends and/or family members where we can clearly see what's causing all the challenges in their lives, and we think we have the answer as to how to fix it. If they'd just listen to us, their lives would be so much easier! I laugh at this trait in me as I tend to be very logic-based and am comfortable shining light on the elephant in the room in an effort to offer suggestions on how to escort him out! I'm a chronic problem-solver and enjoy the challenge of finding solutions. However--while my ideas may be just what is needed--they are not always appreciated. I find people often hang onto their stuff pretty tightly--like it's their child or best friend...
It's not that I don't understand attachments like this. I recognize addictions in my own life--if there's chocolate in the house, I'm all over it...if there's a forensics show on television, I'm glued to it...I'm fascinated with what makes people do the things they do, so yes, I'd be slowing down to see the train wreck as much as the next person. I'm sure there are people looking at my life and seeing obvious tweaks which could be made, and that's my point. We all seem to have stuff from which we can't seem to part. A leader in one of the groups with which I meet regularly once said something like this: "Just leave your bag of stuff at the door--it'll be there when you leave. I doubt any of us would want to trade ours for yours and vice versa."
It's true. Sometimes catching a glimpse of others' stuff makes us appreciate the fact we at least don't have that going on in our lives. In this sense, sometimes I feel my unemployment is as much a journey for those around me as it is for me. I don't know anyone who would want to be in my shoes in that respect, but for me, I have a strong faith and feel God is teaching me many things through this experience. Yes, I wish it would end soon...yes, I know patience is one of the things I need to work on...yes, I see the irony in making those two statements side by side! I once said to my husband, "I hope--if I'm going through this for anyone else's benefit--that they gain what they need to out of it sooner rather than later, so I can get back to work!"
I remember a lecture my husband Bret and I attended, to hear leadership author John Maxwell speak and have a book-signing. Maxwell talked about the days when he was a pastor in counseling sessions with congregants. They would share their trials, he would prescribe solutions and they'd be back the next week with new challenges--like it was an addiction to the drama those problems provided. Maxwell said he finally couldn't do it anymore and moved onto other pursuits. He's certainly found his niche as he's written well over 60 books and sold over 19 million copies. He's a favorite author of ours.
I've been in many leadership positions in my life and continue to learn new things. I recently had a friend ask for my advice in this area, and one key thing I've learned in this day and age of instant messaging, texting, emails and the like is: know when to back away from the keyboard! We often know what actions will stir people up and what will enhance relationships, but we don't always act accordingly. I believe some of that stems from this human addiction to drama, but I also believe we are sometimes moved to illuminate the elephant in the room in an effort to spur future growth. I don't mind doing this on occasion if I see how it can lead to positive improvements, but I recognize my doing so doesn't always make me popular. Because of this, I work very hard to generally be a positive upbeat friendly person, so the suggestions I make can be seen in the helpful spirit in which they are intended. I'm sure there's still a "Well, I Never--!" response here and there, but like Taylor Swift sings, "haters gonna hate-hate-hate-hate-hate..."
What's really rewarding is when I see someone act on my suggestion(s), and learn firsthand my intention was to aid improvement and strive for excellence--not to add drama. For this reason, I strive to maintain a coach-able mindset in myself as I believe a true act of maturity is when we can get out of our own way and grow--no matter what level we are in our lives, careers and hobbies. I'm still striving...
Todays' Quote:
“Perfection does not exist--you can always do better and you can always grow.”
― Les Brown
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
What Do You Do When Your Ghost Story is True?!
I don't recall being afraid of the dark, thinking a monster was under my bed, hearing voices, etc. when I was a kid, but I always did enjoy a good ghost story and was fascinated by all kinds of unconventional things...I suppose I still am--to some extent. I remember one of my junior high birthday slumber parties when a bunch of us girls snuck out and went to the Bellevue Cemetery in the middle of the night. If I remember right, we took my dog, Dixie, as our protection. What were we hoping to find? I have no idea! Ghosts or spirits, I suppose, but what we would've done if we'd found any--again, I have no idea. One of the more forgivable freedoms of childhood is the complete absence of forethought. I miss that!
I'd love to hear what true ghost stories you might have in the Comments section below. Somehow, it helps to know we're not alone...in our 'we're-not-alone'-ness!
Today's Quote:
"The house ghost is usually a harmless and well-meaning creature. It is put up with as long as possible. It brings good luck to those who live with it."
-- William Butler Yeats, The Celtic Twilight
Ghost stories or not, I remember two off-the-wall things I believed in my younger childhood which are still burned in my memory: 1) I thought I could drift from room to room without walking (basically, I thought I could fly); and 2) I thought I could look at a photograph and see whatever actions were happening which led up to the moment the photo was taken (basically, I thought I saw movies in my pictures). I've since decided I must've dreamed these things, but I've dreamed many things which I've since completely forgotten. These two things are more like memories to me...I know, weird!
I learned at an early age to be okay with not being like everybody else, and I try to let others be who they are as well. That doesn't make me an enabler and doesn't mean I ignore the elephant in the room if something needs addressing. In fact, I'd say I have a bit of a drive for problem-solving, so if that means illuminating something and looking for ways to solve whatever challenge comes my way, I do try to be loving and logical in my approach. The downside of this is I sometimes have folks complain to me about other folks' behavior, because they know I am more comfortable addressing things head on...if you've ever taken the StrengthsFinder survey, the fact communication is my number one will mean something to you.
Communication being my number one means I'm comfortable sharing many of my life experiences in hopes it might help others...which brings me to three things which happened in our home recently, which I cannot explain--our own 'ghost story' of sorts!
The first happened when my folks were over after having dinner out with my husband Bret and me. They had come into our house to shoot a happy birthday video for my great niece, Quinn. After we shot the video with my LG3 phone on a tripod, I played it back and the four of us watched it on my small phone screen. Then we decided to watch a recent video I had taken of my father playing clarinet in a fundraising concert at their church. When we were watching this video, the light in our front entryway began flickering like crazy! Now, we've had that light flicker before in the few years we've had my late grandmother's grandfather clock near it, and I've just decided it was Grandma's spirit saying "hello" when I go to wind the clock every week, so I usually say "Hi Grandma" when I open the clock to wind it. Bret has checked the wiring, bulbs, etc. to ensure we didn't have a maintenance problem with this particular light, but everything seemed fine--until my dad's clarinet filled the room. Dad said he thinks Grandma was applauding! That was a few weeks ago and we haven't had any flickering since...
The second unexplained thing happened when I went to look at the posted birthday message we made for Quinn on our big screen computer, and saw LOTS of orbs! Click here and see what you see.
The third other-worldly thing happened a week later, when my husband was out of town and I was sitting on our bed with our three dogs, trying to make a little Vine of each of the dogs to send to Bret in case he was missing them. If you're not familiar with Vine, it's an app which takes six-second videos by pressing your finger on the screen to capture video and lifting your finger to stop.
My first shot was of Bushido, our black and tan Shiba Inu, who was lying on his side by my legs. His head was down, so I said "Bushido" while I was already capturing video and it ended up being too long, so I deleted my first attempt. The second time I called his name and waited until his head was raising and turning before pressing my finger on the screen to begin shooting while saying "Are you being a good boy?" This Vine of Bushido shows him turning and looking clear past me--like something was behind me--but this wasn't the weirdest part...
I then turned to Mojo, our black and tan soft-coated Pommeranian, who was already looking at me, so I pressed my Vine screen and said in a lower quieter voice, "good boy". I didn't know until the replay that this is where an EVP shows up, almost sounding like it took some of my energy and voice intonation from when I said "boy" and says something I'm hearing clear as day (because I know what I said and what I didn't say) as a derogatory comment I won't print! Click here to see what you hear.
The third Vine shot I took was of Toby, our small orange sable triple-coated Pommeranian, who also was already looking my direction. In that shot I say "Hi Papa" because again, this was supposed to be a night-night Vine for my husband.
I'm curious as to whether anyone else hears what I hear in the Mojo clip as so far, no one in my family has, but they do acknowledge hearing something unexplained, and I had just shared the flickering light story and pointed out the orbs the week before. I like to think no one's heard it the same way I did because my family doesn't want to hear such foul language flung at me--especially by disgruntled spirits! To be honest, I had just woken Bushido up twice for a silly Vine video, so he himself could've been thinking such a thought, but a dog-loving spirit who cusses like a sailor at stupid human behavior makes more sense.
That is, it would make more sense to believers, which I guess I have to be now--though I'm not crazy about being put in any category at this point. If you're curious, I was raised Presbyterian, but I do feel we're all on our own spiritual journeys in life, and I acknowledge this would be a major comfort-stretcher for some.
I guess the reason I heard it so clearly is Vine now allows you to cut your shots shorter if you'd like and the way it gives you to do that is it plays whatever shot you're on in the editing tools over and over and over, so you're very familiar with all the sights and sounds of that few seconds of video after a few loops of it goes by. When I first heard this 'glitch', I was going to try to edit it out, but then in that process, it was playing over and over and it dawned on me what I was hearing. Then I was sufficiently freaked out, turned my electronics off and didn't fall asleep until two hours later, around 1 AM! Needless to say, Bret didn't get his night-night video that night.
In the light of day, I listened again and made the decision not to edit it at all, but to upload it to my Vine account as is. I sent a light-hearted "Spirit Diary II" email with this next week's happenings to my family, and somehow felt better.
I have to admit I thought it was kind of fun to think we had spirits of family members, pets and/or passed friends hanging out with us at BRIN Cottage, but I need to make the distinction I really don't care to invite any ill-tempered behavior or language--family or not--and the bedrooms and bathrooms really should be off limits for obvious reasons!
Today's Quote:
"The house ghost is usually a harmless and well-meaning creature. It is put up with as long as possible. It brings good luck to those who live with it."
-- William Butler Yeats, The Celtic Twilight
Monday, March 30, 2015
Choosing Quality of Life--and Embracing Changes for the Better--Rarely Results in Regret
My husband Bret and I were at my folks' house recently to help with some heavy lifting tasks. Naturally, my bodybuilding husband was more help with that than I was! While we were there, I started asking questions about some of the photos of ancestors my mother has framed and on display. The more we were talking, I began to ask about specific people I remembered from my childhood, and my mother started digging out boxes of old photos which have been passed down from generation to generation. It was such fun hearing stories about relatives my folks knew, and even more interesting learning more about some whom I had also been blessed to know.
A recurring element in many of the family stories I've heard over the years has been the recognition of simpler times, far more conservative values and an appreciation of the struggles of those who came before us. When I picked up a picture of my maternal grandmother as a young woman, my mother reminded me that photo had been taken shortly after the first time she had ever gotten her hair cut (and I get the idea this was especially a comfort-stretcher for her father). The drama of women cutting off their long tresses struck me as particularly funny and sad at the same time. It reminded me of Downton Abbey, a PBS series set in the 1920's, when one of the main characters--Lady Mary--was the first at Downton to have her hair bobbed. As someone whose favorite personal hairstyle preference has always been short (even when I've worn it other lengths for variety), I'm happy our society has moved past an insistence on women maintaining long hair!
As we continued to sift through dozens of photos, seeing several people on horses and then others standing by cars which would be considered antiques today, the reality of all the modern conveniences and technological advances created in my folks' and my lifetimes came to mind. They remember childhoods spent sitting by the radio for entertainment, phone numbers with words in them, using outhouses at relatives' homes, paying a nickel to spend Saturday at the movies and lugging around really big cameras. I remember black and white television with three channels you could only change by walking up to the set, record albums you could stack on a player with a needle magnifying every scratch or speck of dust, reel-to-reel tape recorders, Super 8 movie cameras and typewriters.
To think of life without microwaves, computers, flat screen televisions, cell phones, fax machines and loads of other gadgets upon which we've come to depend is a sad thought indeed. It's a good reminder to appreciate inventors, researchers, scientists, engineers and the like for all life's changes we've come to love. Do you have other fun nostalgic stories and/or favorite inventions you'd hate to live without? Please feel free to share them in the Comments section below and we can all appreciate life's upgrades together!
Today's Quote:
"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different."
-- C.S. Lewis
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Seven Ideas for a Variety Show Party
You may recall
a blog I wrote last winter—10 Ways to Add Fun to a Musical Coaching Retreat—inspired
by Acappella Omaha’s annual two-day retreat. We have a highly renowned Sweet
Adelines International coach come work with the chorus a few weeks before
spring competition, on a Friday night and all day Saturday, and then we have a
fun night of entertainment in an after-party closing out the retreat. We like to
have as many members participate in the entertainment as possible, and we encourage it to be related to the theme, but it doesn't have to be. I thought it
might be fun to make a list of different ideas for how to put something together
for such an event, in case helpful to some of our members or others looking to have such a party. The following are Seven Ideas for a Variety Show Party...
1) Write a song parody based on the theme of
the retreat or party. We had a crazy fun example of this at last
year’s retreat, where the theme was “The Rhythm is Gonna Getcha”. Three of our
members dressed in gothic chic with pillows under their blouses, called
themselves the Baby Mamas and rewrote Rhythm of the Rain to be about their pregnant condition as the “rhythm
method fails again". It was hilarious!
3) Create a skit around a song the whole
group knows and invite them to sing with you. In
Acappella Omaha’s case, this is easy enough because we’re all about learning
music together. However, there are many songs most people would know which
could be used. If songs don't appeal, you might rather do a skit with funny characters. One of the chorus' favorite running skits is the adventures of Rocky, Bullwinkle, Boris and Natasha that four of our members create around the theme each year. It's TOO funny!
4) Teach something. Since
we had a rhythm-related theme last year, I taped a how-to video for members who
might like to learn the cups cadence made popular by Pitch Perfect, and everybody
had a cup to perform it throughout the retreat and party. I also taught the
Bim-Bum-Bitty rhythm song at the event itself.
5) Play a game with the audience. Some television games give good ideas for this, like Minute to Win It, Whose Line is it Anyway, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, etc. The caution is taking too long. Usually timeslots are in the five-minute range, but you can find creative ways to do shortened versions.
6) Facilitate a group art project and have a contest for the best creation. This idea is wide open for possibilities. One suggestion might be to break into teams—each with a roll of toilet paper—and have the groups create fashion designs using one of their members as a model.
7) Be a comedian, magician, a puppeteer, etc. A party crowd's usually an easy audience. Try something new, stretch your comfort zone, strutt your stuff, show a side of yourself nobody's ever seen. You'll have an amazing time and so will your audience!
These are just a few ideas to get the juices flowing. I’d
love to hear what fun performances you and your friends may have come up with
at past parties. Please share in the comments section below and happy creating!
Today’s Quote:
What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
-- Unkown
Today’s Quote:
What do you call a computer that can sing? A dell.
-- Unkown
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